Creating a wedding guest list is notoriously one of the most fraught parts of the wedding planning process.
To make this task a bit easier on you — and your relationship — here are seven types of people you can consider leaving off your list. In no particular order.
People You Don’t Need to Invite to Your Wedding
When it comes to weddings the guest list is tricky, hard work and can be awkward, but remember it is your day so do it your way! Here is a list of people you shouldn’t feel you need to invite and some you just shouldn’t!
1. The ‘B’ List
When you start making your wedding guest list, separate names. The people you must have at your wedding (the “A” list). Those you’d enjoy having there but don’t feel like their presence is crucial (the “B” list).
Just because you were close with someone in college, or were invited to their wedding five years go, that doesn’t mean you are required to invite them to your own nuptials. Especially if you’ve lost touch. A wedding is not a reunion, it’s about celebrating your union with your partner.
2. Anyone just because they invited you to their wedding
Been invited or attended someone else’s wedding, it doesn’t matter who it is, don’t feel you need to invite them to your wedding just because you went to there’s, you may not have seen them since then! So don’t feel you need to return the invite.
3. Your Boss
Although it may seem awkward not to invite your boss, it may be even more awkward to invite him or her. Especially if no one else from work is on your guest list. While etiquette once dictated that your boss was a must-invite, I say it depends on your office culture.
The size of your team. And how comfortable you feel around your boss in general. Your wedding is intimate and no matter how many on your wedding guest list, you want to feel at ease. If you boss is your boss then don’t feel you need to invite them,, however if your boss is a close friend, or perhaps helped you and you wish them to be there then do invite them, it comes down to how close they are.
4. Work colleagues
Leading on from the boss in the last point, again, don’t feel you need to invite everyone you work with, invite your closest work fiends, but don’t feel you need to expand it out to everyone, this might feel awkward, but would they invite you to their wedding?
Etiquette experts have a number of opinions on who gets a plus one: Some say any single person over the age of 18. Others go as low as 16. While some say that you’re only required to give a guest a plus one if he or she is cohabiting with a partner.
When it comes to your unattached guests, however, I say let the singles mingle. Unless you have very few singles invited and you run the risk of just a few loners.
6. Relatives or Friends Famous for Behaving Badly
Your wedding day should be as stress-free as possible. You shouldn’t have to worry about Uncle Mort drinking too much and causing a scene. Or your sorority friend starting drama with your bridesmaids. Anyone with a track record of causing major problems at parties should be carefully considered before you send him or her an invite.
7. Distant Relatives
While blood might be thicker than water, your friends likely know you, and your spouse-to-be, better than your second cousin removed on your mother’s side. The family doesn’t automatically make the guest list.
Especially if you don’t have a relationship besides sharing a last name. If you are questioning inviting an estranged relative over a friend…invite the friend.
8. Your parents’ guest list
You have your list, but sometimes parents like to throw in a few names and say you must invite so and so. Consider them and decide yourself if you should invite them, don’t be pressured into inviting people who are there for someone else and not for you.
Just because you share a morning greeting doesn’t mean you should feel guilty not inviting the people who live next door. It might have been customary to invite the neighbors to your nuptials at one time. Now it’s far less common — unless of course you’re legitimately friends with your neighbors and get together socially. If not, don’t feel bad about leaving them off the list.
A tricky one but kids or no kids at weddings. You may have your own there and happy to have other children there too, however depending on your venue and wedding kids may not be suitable, and if you don’t want kids running around then you can certainly make it a no kids wedding day.
When choosing who to invite and who not to invite, many will understand, however even if you invited everyone, which people are you not likely to see again or anytime soon, if you may not see them again for a few years or until they get married and may invite you, do you need to invite them to yours?!