As time has evolved, we have each transformed our perceptions regarding a wedding. Many of us are still sticklers for tradition and quite frankly, there’s a ton of charm in that.
However, because of the different way couples budget and organize their weddings now, things have changed and so have certain beliefs. There is nothing that dictates a certain thing is proper or improper about a wedding custom, it all depends on what the couples would like to observe and not.
Should the Groom See the Wedding Dress?
As for traditions, some couples believe seeing each other before the ceremony is not a sign of luck, while others believe it helps calm the nerves. Some couples also question whether it is good to have the groom participate in the wedding dress selection or is it better to leave it as a surprise for him.
So if you’re debating whether or not you should let your man get a glimpse of the vision in white he will see on his big day, here are some pointers to help you decide.
Tradition – What it says
If this decision is an exceptionally important one for the bride and groom, then it is best to gather all the facts to make a knowledge decision. We can trace the tradition of the groom not seeing his bride’s dress back to ancient times when arranged marriages were the norm.
Back in the day, parents usually set up their children to marry. When both the families would settle everything regarding the nuptials etc. would the couple get to meet in person. Perhaps the idea behind not letting the bride and groom meet each other before was to prevent either of them from backing out of the commitment.
Since the couple couldn’t meet before the ceremony, the tradition also include the groom not getting to see the bride’s wedding dress. As the years advanced, this tradition became a thing of the past because people saw the wisdom in getting to know each other well before committing to a lifetime together.
The customary arranged marriages have surely fallen by the wayside but the belief about not letting the groom see the wedding dress before still lives.
So what are the arguments for letting or not letting the groom see the wedding gown before the ceremony? Let’s take a look at those below:
Should He See Your Dress before the Wedding? Maybe, Maybe Not!
For brides, is it appropriate to let your groom see the dress you’ve chosen? Or is it better to save the entire look for the big day?
Let’s dive right into the basics and sort this confusion for you.
1. To begin with and leaving tradition aside, the bride has the ultimate right to get the dress she dreams of. We don’t think it is fair to let anyone influence her choice with their decision because it is HER main day after all. This also includes the groom and there are always chances that he might not like the dress she absolutely loves. By voicing out his opinion in the shopping process, the bride may settle for an alternative dress but it may not have her heart. Why spoil her joy?
2. For a groom, it is highly likely that your fiancé has invested hours of research along with a dozen trips to the boutique for her dress. She must have put in a lot of time, energy and effort into finding the perfect dress for your big day. It can’t be fair to simply stroll into the boutique and say, “It’s ummm nice but you can find better dresses around than this one”. For all the sweat and blood she put in, we can tell you what a might disappointment such a feedback will be for her.
3. For both the bride and the groom, the wedding is absolutely the biggest event of their life. It is right to give each other the liberty and space to do as their please. This includes choosing outfits that they have always envisioned of when walking down the aisle.
What if the Bride Her Groom’s Opinion?
Now that we’ve enlisted all the reasons why it makes sense for the grooms to not see their bride’s wedding dress before the big day, let’s consider the other side. There is also the one category of brides that overly about whether or not their grooms will like their wedding dress.
While many find this an unjustifiable fear, the truth is that for many women the ultimate goal of dressing up is to please their partners. So if a bride feels that her wedding dress should be as much the choice of her groom’s as hers, then it is good to seek his opinion.
Such couples generally manage to come to a consensus on many things, even the choice of a wedding gown. It would be a great thing if the couple can collectively decide on the final dress and both would have the reassurance that it is what they both like very much.
There is also another advantage to choosing a dress jointly: the bride and groom enjoy the reassurance that both love the wedding dress. This significantly eases their minds before the grand day and then they can focus on the other trivial wedding details.
The Groom’s Take on the Wedding Dress
When all is said and done, you may still wonder what should be a groom’s take on the wedding dress selection. Ultimately, it depends on how he wants to approach this situation and what his preferences are.
A groom may not be necessarily superstitious but he may not want to think, see or imagine his fiancé in the wedding dress until the grand moment in Church. Many grooms want nothing to spoil the beauty of the special when the Church bells sound, the doors open and in comes their bride, looking like a breathtaking vision in pure white.
If this extraordinarily special moment is the very first time a groom wishes to see his bride in the wedding dress, then it is right to respect his choices.
Superstition can often sway logic. One fine example of mistaken beliefs is that grooms should not see their brides to be in the wedding dress before the ceremony. Perhaps it is some illogical fear of a bad omen that dictates this senseless theory.
The truth is that the choice of seeing the wedding dress before the ceremony or not is entirely up to the couple’s discretion. It ultimately comes down to what appeals to the pair who is getting married. If they love doing things the traditional way, there is nothing wrong in waiting for the wedding day for the groom to see the dress.
If not, they can always go shopping for the special dress together and pick what they both love.